Home & Our New ‘Normal’

After being in the NICU for a couple weeks, the doctors and nurses began to tell us that taking Brooklyn home was a real possibility.  She had beaten the odds and made it passed the two week hurdle, so we began praying for the courage to take her home.  There is a sense of security to life in the NICU.  It’s very surreal living there, but the security of having the “most expensive babysitters in town” watching Brooklyn 24/7 was nice.  As time progressed, the Lord gave us the strength and courage to take on the challenge of bringing her home and becoming her full-time caretakers.  We learned everything we needed to learn over the course of a week and set up our support system through Hospice Austin and our pediatrician Dr. Caldwell.

After being in the NICU for almost a month, we brought Brooklyn home on 12/6/12!  Corrie and I were very excited and extremely scared.  We had grown accustomed to NICU life and the ‘normal’ realities of bringing our first newborn home from the hospital coupled with our ‘normal’ of managing her oxygen, 6 different medications, feedings, etc. became our ‘new normal’.

We decided to start this blog (Day 47) because we want to tell Brooklyn’s story and our journey as parents walking through this crazy difficult time.  We are starting to hit our stride with routines but the unfortunate reality is that a lot of the same messiness still exists.  Corrie and I still live hour by hour not knowing when Brooklyn may have a seizure or begin her decline in some way.  Her decline will likely occur through distress in her breathing, heart, or a combo of both, so we are constantly monitoring her for any of these signs.  Brooklyn has had one major incident when oxygen was obviously not properly getting to her body and we had to administer a dose of morphine which brought her back.  She has also had several minor incidents where she has pulled out her feeding tube and I’ve had to replace it.  Yes, this has been a crazy time and will likely continue to be unpredictable.  Thankfully, we have great 24/7 support from Hospice and Dr. Caldwell.  They continue to fight for Brooklyn’s peace and comfort.  We get to speak with them daily and see Hospice and Dr. Caldwell at least once a week.

Our commitment to celebrate and enjoy Brooklyn continues to happen but it still isn’t easy.  We still wake up each morning asking the Lord for strength and looking to each other for encouragement and support.

Corrie and I celebrated our 5th anniversary on 12/30/12, and I couldn’t be happier with where we are and that we are together.  For those of you that knew us before we were together, you know that we were definitely an unlikely pair and very different.  The truth is, God knew what He was doing when we got together and we’ve come to know that we are God’s perfect provision for one another.  Our marriage is stronger and more intimate than I could have ever imagined standing at the alter 5 years ago.  It has become crystal clear to us in this journey that any illusion of control is gone and humility and surrendering our selfishness is key to the continual success of our relationship and loving Brooklyn well.  God is definitely breaking us of idols of control and pride and reminding us that He is in control.  We’ve always known this intellectually but haven’t really known this in our hearts until the past couple of months.  It’s still a daily struggle to acknowledge this, but we usually land in this truth at the end of the day.

Our hope is that God uses our story to His glory and that you’re encouraged by His ability to provide hope, peace, and strength when life seems unfair and messy.  We’ll continue to tell our story here, so we hope you’ll stay in it with us, however it may look, and join us in celebrating the gift of Brooklyn.  We love her so much and are grateful to be her parents.

-AH

Leaving the NICU

Adventures since we’ve been home

Walk on Town Lake

Bath Time

Hook ‘em!

1 Month Birthday Party

Christmas Eve Service